Managers, friends, even spouses say they want to support you, but how come it goes horribly wrong?
Support is determined by the recipient, not the giver.
If the receiver doesn’t feel supported, it’s only a gesture.
Let me give you an example. Your manager tells you he/she is “hands off” in their management style, yet you feel micromanaged.
Translation: your manager wants things done a certain way and when it’s not, you’ll hear it. Hands off to them means “as long as you do things my way, I’ll be hands off.”
To someone who is self-motivated and innovative that’s a huge turn off.
In the workplace support it a term used loosely. The main problem is if the giver doesn’t know how the receiver defines support, it’s just talk.
Support gets miscommunicated as frequently as any generational difference.
If you truly want to support someone, ask them how they feel supported. It may be different than what you value, but if you truly care you’ll do it.
The #1 reason why employees leave their current job is because they feel undervalued, therefore support has an incredible ROI.
The root cause can be the difference between a leader and manager, but ultimately it starts with ego.
Support is meant to benefit the recipient so if the receiver doesn’t feel supported that falls on the giver.
It can be a tricky game to play, so first know the rules.
I feel supported when listened to. Answers aren’t necessary. Once I’m able to vent my frustration, I can enter problem solving mode. Offer me trust and I will give it back tenfold. That’s what helps me feel supported, how about you?
Growing Forward 