Tag: anxiety

How To Deal With Uncertainty

Scott Asai2 Comments

uncertainty

As a planner I prefer to be in control.

When I’m not it’s scary.

But when you think about, how much of your life are you really in control of?

You have the power of choice, but you can’t control the outcome. In fact you can drive yourself insane second-guessing what you should have done in retrospect.

The best advice (but probably the most uncomfortable) is to trust the process.

Easier said than done, but if you’ve done your research, taken multiple factors into account, pull the trigger and don’t look back.

Take for instance sports: when you make a play sometimes it works out in your favor and sometimes it doesn’t. If you feel uncertain in the moment, most likely the result won’t be favorable. On the other hand committing to a plan of action and living with the outcome gives you a sense of peace.

As a recovering control-freak myself, I realize the more I try to control the less I actually am.

Pair that with the fact my wife is very spontaneous and carefree and it can drive me to anxiety if I don’t take a step back.

As a coach I tell my clients to focus on creating good habits that are repeatable. Goals are good, but creating routines that lead towards your desired lifestyle are better.

Funny thing is sometimes I need to listen to my own advice.

If you’re unsure about an aspect in your life such as your career or a relationship, look at how you spend your time. Examine your priorities. Understand the way you process.

Uncertainty can be looked at in two ways: negatively or positively.

You can choose to be anxious or excited. The former will drive you crazy while the latter comes with anticipation.

For your mind and body’s sake (and health), choose the high road.

Trust me.

It works.

Overcoming Doubt

Scott AsaiLeave a comment

Everyone has doubts.

No matter how successful you are, you’ve had periods where you’ve doubted yourself. You can’t avoid it, but you can counter it.

So how do you battle those doubts in your head?

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I don’t consider myself an expert by any means, but here’s what’s worked for me personally, as well as a coach:

1) Push through it

2) Know the present/future is not predicted by your past

3) Help others

Doubt is more perceived than real. It’s a mental block that can stop you in your tracks (if you allow it). In the midst of fear, usually the only way to get over it is “push through it” to reach a different outcome. If you do that, you’ve created a new schema to build upon.

If your past is the only way to predict your future, then it’s game over. That would mean your life is predetermined and there’s nothing you can do to change it. If you really believe that, you’re sad. Don’t be a victim. Start doing things different now to achieve a better future. Start with small steps and build from there.

At the heart of doubt(s) is “me” focused. The next time you start feeling sorry yourself, go help someone in need. It may sound like a deterrent/distraction (and to some degree it is), but if you shift your focus towards helping someone, a lot of your negative feelings will dissipate. Sometimes the best thing we can do to cope is to reach out, even when our natural instinct is to stay isolated.

Like I mentioned before, I don’t claim to be the expert on this subject because I have my own doubts that linger from time to time. But the worst thing you can do is nothing. Vent to a friend. Journal about it. Try something new.

So now it’s your turn, what’s worked for you?