Author: Scott Asai
Helping people develop their leadership skills to advance in their career
The 2 Reasons Why You Lose Focus
The gap between aspiration and achievement is focus. Good intentions aren’t good enough when it comes to accomplishing your goals. What if you knew the two reasons why you lose focus?
Fear of the unknown and fear of failure. Remember trying something for the first time? If you don’t know what to expect it can sometimes prevent you from trying it at all. If you have a tendency to dwell on past failures, it makes it nearly impossible to succeed in the present. Don’t let fear stop you from staying focused on your goals. Instead, treat past experiences like a blank slate. The past doesn’t predict the future, so give yourself a fresh start by moving forward and stay in the present.
Greed. Picture this gambling example. The emotional gambler lets greed drive his/her decisions. They bet based on how they feel. Since feelings are unstable, they’re not a good gauge for making decisions. On the other hand, a logical person sets a plan ahead of time by setting a limit on how much he/she spends. This prevents you from making poor decisions based on what’s happening. In life, there are times we go for too much. Being ambitious is one thing, but being careless is another. Don’t get greedy when it comes to your goals. Set your goals lofty, but be realistic. Don’t get caught up in the chase. Remember what you’re after.
Imagine fear and greed at the ends of a spectrum. Staying focused means being disciplined enough to stay between the extremes. Increase your chances by asking someone to keep you accountable. Set milestones along the way to build momentum. Fear and greed are distractions. Stay focused on your dreams and they will eventually become reality . What’s keeping you from staying focused today?
Are You Socially Fit?
We hear the term “physically fit” a lot, but have you ever thought of being socially fit? I’m not talking about social media, but instead, face-to-face conversations. As a coach, interpersonal skills are crucial to building trust and eventually a connection.
For example, success in the workplace has a lot to do with how you manage the relationships around you. A star performer can only go so far with limited relationships in the organization. Some people refer to it as politics, but the truth is the workplace is a political game that you have to participate in. Like it or not, much of upward mobility lies with who you know.
Knowing how important communication skills are, here are three ways to improve your social capital:
Public Speaking – Historically, speaking in front of people is the #1 fear of most. In this case, practice makes perfect (or at least better). Few are naturally great at public speaking. Those who are spend hours practicing to refine their skills. Many employers will offer the opportunity to present in front of the company as a test to evaluate your ability to communicate publicly. Pass this test and your reputation skyrockets.
One on One Conversations – Turn off your laptop, smartphone and internet for a second. How well can you carry a conversation? Initiate conversations with a diverse group of individuals and try to build connections. The goal of networking is to build trusted connections that lead to business opportunities. We like to do business with people we like. You build rapport one conversation at a time. You can only improve your social skills if you practice with real people, in person.
Ask for Feedback – Most people say they want feedback, but they really want praise. Sometimes the truth hurts, but what hurts only makes us stronger, right? The next time you ask for honest feedback, prepare yourself to hear where you can make improvements. Only fools turn a deaf ear to criticism. That doesn’t mean take everything to heart, but listen to what’s being said and filter it objectively. Observe how you respond, both physically and emotionally. You may feel a bit defensive, but thank the person for sharing their thoughts (especially if you asked them for feedback). How you carry yourself while experiencing some “tough love” reveals your maturity.
Being socially fit means having conversations, face-to-face. Don’t hide behind technology, instead take advantage of every opportunity you can to connect with others in person. Your ability to communicate with others is one of your greatest assets. Think about referrals. We tend to refer people that we’ve had positive interactions with. Don’t you think it’s time to get socially fit?
Are you the hunter or hunted?
In your career, there are times where you are the hunter and times where you are the hunted. As you grow, it’s your choice which role you want to embrace. Before making a decision, let’s look at the pros and cons for both:
The Hunted
Pros: In order to be the “hunted” it means you’re on top. You’ve worked hard to be in this position and now someone wants what you have. In sports it’s beneficial to have a dominant team/player that everyone is gunning for. You either love or hate them. It brings more attention to the sport period. It’s the same in the business world.
Cons: Sometimes when you’re number one, you get lazy. Past success breeds complacency. There’s an arrogance that can follow success and take you down. If you’re too used to winning, your motivation dwindles and you stop doing the things that put you on top. Be careful not to become entitled and believe you deserve to be where you are. There’s always someone ready to take your place.
The Hunter
Pros: You have your eyes on the prize. Your radar is locked and you are ready to kill. It’s crucial to have a target and something to go towards. Focus brings the best results. Being the hunter means you’re motivated to work harder than everyone else to achieve greatness. Hunters don’t make excuses, they just want results.
Cons: Part of being the best means you know what it takes. It’s hard to strive to be the leader when you lack experience. Doubts creep in when you don’t see your desired results. It can be overwhelming and you question whether you have what it takes. At the same time, being a bit naive about a situation can cause you to take more risks in hopes to breakthrough.
This is a personal decision. For me, I prefer being the hunter. It keeps me hungry. I’d rather play to win, than try not to lose. As a coach, it’s essential to go towards a target versus avoid something. Choose the one that motivates you to be your best. Which one do you prefer? Hunter or hunted? Please share your comments below.
Do you REALLY want Feedback?
Last night on America’s Got Talent I watched how contestants responded to the judge’s feedback. They love to hear praise from Howie Mandel & Sharon Osborne, but none of them are receptive to constructive comments from Piers Morgan (even though he spoke the truth). Have you noticed that we live in a world that only wants to hear positive feedback?
The problem with only receiving praise is you become complacent with no desire to grow. Hearing criticism is tough, but it’s good for you – it can motivate you to become better. Next time you want helpful feedback, try asking these questions:
What areas do I need to improve in?
What should I be focusing on?
What should I be doing more of?
Brace yourself because you may not like what you hear. Most people don’t want to listen to negative comments, because they take it too personal. Focus less on the messenger and more on the message. Use the feedback as motivation towards a new goal.
At the heart of the problem is a lack of awareness. Both self-awareness & being aware of how other’s perceive you. Knowing your strengths means you should also know your weaknesses. People who deny, are blind to, or are just plain naive miss out on crucial insight to improve themselves. It is a privilege to hear how you can get better. Take advantage of it.
True mentors point out your deficiencies so you can eliminate them. Be open and willing to listen to what others are saying about you. That doesn’t mean you don’t filter ignorant comments, but if someone is trying to help you by sharing areas that you can improve upon, listen closely and thank him/her for their concern. (The truth may hurt, but it’s still the truth.)
Leaders learn from teachable moments. They put aside their ego because they value growth. You can learn a lot more from your mistakes than you can from your success. Stay hungry by asking for feedback, then challenge yourself to make the necessary changes to become the best version of you possible!
The Old School Community (a.k.a. Community 1.0)
Back in the day, before technology existed there was community. The internet has globalized our capability to connect to people, but there is power in the origin of localized communities. Let’s talk about the benefits & how to create an authentic community from scratch:
Relationships – Communities grow organically. It starts one conversation at a time and builds from there. The idea of networking birthed from relationships. If we treat building our personal network based on forming relationships, connecting is much easier. Social media, Skype & cell phones are great, but nothing beats a face to face conversation. This generation is losing its ability to communicate effectively in person, because we don’t practice enough. Relationships are the core of community.
Resources – Communities are your referral network. Be willing to ask, “How can I help you?” without expecting anything in return. Everything you need can come from your community. A true community wants to freely give because it cares for the whole, not just the individual. For example, small businesses are the engine to revitalizing our economy, if we choose to invest locally.
Small Groups – Within a community, conversations happen in a smaller setting. Small groups are the unit for transformation. They are the bridge between the individual and the larger group. Think about how cliques normally form. There’s nothing wrong with cliques as long as they are inclusive. Instead of meeting in the same group of 4 to 6, interchange people and start conversations with people you don’t know as well. Conversations bond and before you know it, your inner circle widens.
Local is the new global. Provide live events as a means to build community. People are hungry to connect and the best place to do that is within a community. Find a common purpose and create meaningful tasks that bond. Technology will never surpass human connections. Community takes time to grow, but when in full bloom it’s a beautiful thing. So what community will you help build?
What’s your Social Equity Worth?
“Social Equity is the perceived value of an individual, organization, or brands reputation and following online. This value increases or decreases based on the online buzz and conversations that take place across the various social media channels on the internet which ultimately transcend to the offline world.”
Isn’t this just a fancy way of saying your online presence precedes your reputation?
Communication is rampant via social media, but how accurate is your participation online with who you really are? Companies and individuals can easily search for personal information about you online. Is that how you want to be portrayed?
Instead of trying to create a persona, just be yourself.
Focus on your strengths. Delegate your weaknesses.
When posting, think twice before sharing emotional reactions in the moment.
Do you really want your future boss to see that picture of you?
Nobody wants to listen to you broadcast each move you make.
When at work, monitor your boundaries. The lines are blurred in these days of work-life balance, but remember your actions affect others. You may be able to work the system, but act with integrity. Even if no one knows, you do. It’s called being professional.
Your social equity is built on interactions. Treat it as a relationship. Online connections are a means to an end. We do business with people we trust. It’s harder to build trust online than in person.
Don’t substitute your social presence for interpersonal skills. As technology rises, the desire to connect face to face will continue to grow. That means how you interact in person matters. There will never be a substitute for relationships.
Social equity is your first impression. Put your best foot forward. You never know who is looking at you for the first time. Seems like that’s worth a lot…
Be Willing to Be Uncomfortable
Everyone knows what it feels like to be uncomfortable. It’s a not a great feeling, but sometimes it’s a good thing. In order to grow, we have to put ourselves in position to be uncomfortable. Not easy, but how else will we try new things? Let me give you a couple of examples from my own life that might better illustrate this point:
I’m impatient. I hate waiting. This past month my wife and I were in Hawaii for a friend’s wedding. If you’ve ever driven in Hawaii, you know they drive much slower than in L.A. On our way from the airport to the house we were staying in, cars were traveling at 35 mph (with no traffic ahead). At first, I had to contain myself from swearing and passing them on the shoulder of the road. After a couple of days, I got used to the pace (although I prefer to move faster) and it didn’t bother me as much. Nothing changed, only my response to the situation.
I like to be in control. I wouldn’t consider myself type A, but I do like to plan. Normally, I schedule everything a week in advance. I’m not much into surprises, I’d rather know what to expect. In fact, I usually like visiting somewhere the second time more than the first, so I can plan where to stop and what to eat. My wife is the exact opposite. She’s very spontaneous, more adventurous and would rather not have plans, but decide in the moment. Over the 12 years we’ve known each other, I’ve learned to compromise. I still prefer to know what’s going on, but I’m much more flexible now.
In both examples used, the circumstances didn’t change, I did. Sometimes we beat our head against the wall because the world doesn’t see things through our lens. Meanwhile we miss being present and make it less enjoyable for those around us. Part of growth is being able to look back at yourself and laugh. For me, learning to be more patient and flexible will only help me in the future. It’s not about losing authenticity, but maturing in character. I’ll still struggle in the areas I mentioned above, but I’m aware of it and will purposely put myself in situations that are uncomfortable because I know it’s good for me.
So what about you? What makes you uncomfortable? How would putting yourself in uncomfortable situations benefit you in the future? Your desire to grow will determine your next move.
The Applicant and the 3 Resume Piles
Have you ever wondered what your chances of landing a job are when applying? As an applicant, there are 3 piles your application/resume can fall into. Based on what category you’re in, determines your chances of getting hired. Let’s take a deeper look:
Pile #1: Not Qualified – You lack the experience and educational requirements for the position. Once you apply, you’re hoping for a shot, but you really don’t stand a chance. You never hear back from the employer because they saw your lack of qualifications and threw your application and resume away.
Chances of landing the job: 0 – 5%
Pile #2: Qualified – You meet the experience and education requirements for the job. Most applications fall into this category. You’re looking for a position that fits your current background. Your resume is impressive and you feel your chances of landing the job are pretty good. The only problem is there are others with similar backgrounds and they know someone within the company.
Chances of landing the the job: 30 – 40%
Pile #3: Know/Referred by Someone Within the Company – Here you stand the best chance of becoming employed. You want to believe we live in a objective world, but you don’t. Who you know is more important than what you know. There may even be a few requirements you don’t meet, but if you have a friend inside the organization vouch for you, all is waived. Human subjectivity rules, so when applying for a job try to get the inside track from someone you know. Trust me, the screening process works like this.
Chances of landing the job: 70 – 80%
The power of your personal network is huge! The three piles are similar to cold, warm and hot leads. You should always start with your best chance for success. Next time you apply for a job, think about the three piles and where your chances lie. In today’s economy, this can save you time and stress by increasing your chances for employment. Good luck and happy hunting!
Snoop Blog
If you’ve watched TV, searched the internet or gone shopping lately, chances are Snoop Dogg promoted one of the products you’ve seen. Would you consider him a master of self-promotion? Personal branding guru? Regardless, here are 3 ways you and I can learn from his business ways…
Get comfortable with promoting yourself. You are gifted with unique talents, but the question is do others know? You could be a great coach, artist or teacher, but if no one knows, your talents are being wasted. Focus on your strengths and figure out what gifts you can share with others. Keep developing and evolving. Practice may not make perfect, but it definitely makes you better. Don’t be afraid to share with the world how you can make a difference.
Shout-outs. Thank those who are helping you. Whether it’s public or private, just make sure it is genuine. Nothing great is accomplished alone, so give credit to your supporters. The #1 reason people leave their jobs is because they feel unappreciated or under-valued. Tell others how much you value their presence in your life. Appreciation goes a long way.
Exposure, exposure, exposure. Stand out. Don’t blend in. Give people a reason to look your way, or they won’t. For example, if you offer a service, speaking is a great way to show people you are qualified to be a professional. Social media is a free way to let others know you’re around. When it comes to networking, meet in person (if possible). Help others to put a face to your name. Be aware of your body language, it communicates more than a phone call or email ever will. The more comfortable you are talking to others about what you do, the better the chances of them hiring you!
I’m not saying take every opportunity to promote yourself like Snoop Dogg does, but take what he does and make it your own. In a world dominated by technology, its those with exceptional interpersonal skills that will rise to the top. The clearer you can communicate in front of others, the better your chances of getting “hired.” Peace.
Growing Forward 