Networking as a Lifestyle

It’s not about what you know, but who you know.”

Let that ring in your head for a while. The world is connected and no matter how much technology improves, your ability to connect with people will make or break you.

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I used to think networking was something I needed to do for my business (which I do), but only until I built a certain level of client base then I could give it a rest (boy was I wrong).

When things really started to click for me is when I adopted the belief that networking is a lifestyle, not a goal.

It’s the same approach I take towards my health. Diets don’t work. It comes down to nutrition and fitness. What you eat and how often you exercise. I only eat sugar 2 -3 times a week and workout 5 times a week. That’s something I continue to do without an end date in mind.

My goal in networking, or “connecting,” (which I believe is a better term) is to meet with/or talk to at least 2 (preferably new) people a week. If I can grab coffee locally, that’s my preference. If not, phone or Skype will do. Over time that means I talked with 100+ people per year. I also track when and how I communicate with people, by date & form (meet, phone, email, etc.). Fortunately one of my strengths is remembering where our conversation ended, but I admit I cheat with LinkedIn most of the time.

My hope isn’t for you to be impressed with my story. What I do hope you get out of this post is how important it is to connect with others regularly. Whether you work a corporate 9 – 5 or have your own business, this is one of the 3 skills you need to succeed in life.

Figure out what system works for you by trial and error. Once you figure that out, use it daily. You and I need others to thrive. (We’re also social beings by nature, so the interaction doesn’t hurt either.) Nothing great was ever accomplished alone. Therefore: network or die.

How to Be More Confident

Who wouldn’t like to be more confident?!

It’s the most desired, intangible trait you can have. Believe it or not, it’s not overly complicated to attain.

Want to know the secret? Drumroll…

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Achieve more.

That’s it?! Simple enough, right?

Think about the last time you were confident. It probably involved you performing and getting recognized for it. A lot of the times we do what we get noticed for. Not always a bad thing, but our ego is involved.

People who are self-confident achieve more. It goes hand-in-hand.

Take for instance one of my coaching-client conversations:

Client: “I’ve been in the same job for 5 years and hate it. I want to leave, but am afraid if I do I won’t have anything else. Can you help me make the transition?

Me: “So you know I can’t promise you employment right? That’s a guarantee no one can make (unless they’re going to hire you themselves).”

Client: “Oh yeah, I don’t expect that, but I need a game plan…something to help me figure out if it’s worth taking the risk of leaving my current job.”

Me: “So you want me to help you with an exit strategy and give you tips on how to get into a new industry right?

Client: “Yes.”

Me: “So what you’re really looking for is to gain more confidence so you’re willing to chase after your dreams.”

Client: “Exactly.”

When you set and achieve goals it builds momentum. It’s like that snowball rolling down the hill in cartoons. It starts small then gets bigger as it picks up speed. Start with small goals, achieve those, then become more ambitious in your pursuit(s). The more you achieve, the greater your confidence.

At the heart of what I do as a coach is build people’s self-confidence. That’s what I tell people when they call me from Yelp!