Self-talk is the #1 thing holding you back. Increase your ability to risk by re-training your mind. Successful people don’t let failure stop them from trying again. Embrace your mistakes, learn from them and move on. What will you try today?
Category: work life balance
Would you rather try and fail or live with the regret of never trying?
When trying any new idea, you hear doubts swirling around in your head. It’s up to you to silence your inner critic and re-focus your thoughts. Here are 3 ways to help:
Fact or Fiction? How much of what the negative voices are saying is actually true? Are you basing it on past experiences? Do you expect the past to repeat itself? No two situations are the same. Try focusing on a positive outcome. What you choose to focus on, usually comes to fruition.
The Cost of Investment. Mark Cuban says, “Don’t follow your passion, follow your effort.” Anything worth doing is going to take hard work and sacrifice. If you’re not willing to put in the work, don’t start. The only thing you have control over is how hard you work. If you work hard first, passion usually follows.
Learn from your Mistakes. Ask for feedback. When given, take it with an objective filter. You can’t grow if you stay the same. Growth hurts, but it’s worth it. When knocked down, don’t play the victim. Get up, brush yourself off and move forward. Perseverance builds character.
Leaving a Legacy
In tribute to the recent trade of Derek Fisher from the Lakers, his impact went far beyond the court. Here are some lessons to learn from his example that you can apply to your career/life:
Be “Clutch.” When the pressure is on, whatever is inside of you comes out. The preparation you put in helps pass the tests life gives you. Nobody keeps you accountable for what you do on your own time, but when it’s time to perform you are judged. This is where your mental toughness shows. Your ability to cope and deal with stress increases through practice (similar to public speaking). Do the necessary work ahead of time so when opportunity arises, you’re ready.
Be about Winning. (No, not Charlie Sheen-like) You don’t have to be the most talented or smartest, but you need to know how to make your organization better. Sometimes that means stepping up. Sometimes it means doing behind the scenes work. If you’re willing to sacrifice for the betterment of the team, you’re a winner. It’s not about you, but what value you bring to the greater team. Winning is about performing, but it’s also about knowing your role and working well with others.
Be About Character. People are hired for skills and experience, but fired for character flaws. It’s not all about performance…so what do others say about you? Are you trustworthy? Dependable? You communicate more through your actions than your words. It’s about showing over telling. Integrity goes a long way in people’s eyes. Based on your actions, how do you want people to remember you?
Derek Fisher’s abilities diminished over the past couple of years, but if you listen to his impact on his teammates, he has their utmost respect. His presence will be missed in team huddles, road trips and the locker room. When he spoke, people listened. When it comes to your career don’t just do your job, strive to leave a legacy. In the end, that’s what matters.
The Cost of Workplace Motivation
What truly motivates you to work harder? Although it’s personal, here are some ideas to ponder:
What’s the transaction? There’s give and take with any relationship. The question is what are you giving and what are you receiving? We all want meaning, to feel valued and to make a difference at work, but at what cost? Would you rather get a bonus check or perk that’s equivalent? Bottom line: If you’re happy at your job, you’re receiving value. If not, well…you can figure it out.
What are your expectations? Think pricing. When you purchase a luxury item, there’s the perception that it will make you feel better. When you’re underpaid, you feel undervalued. Why is that? Money is the most expensive motivator, but ironically one of the least effective. A high salary actually doesn’t make you work harder. Any volunteer will attest to that. Clearly irrational, but true.
It comes down to relationships. Look at companies such as TOMS, Betterworks, Factual & Shopzilla. They focus on culture, more than anything else. It’s the little things that make the difference. You know what “perks” represent? Care. Perks say, “I care about you enough to eliminate distractions and give you the proper resources to do your best work.” There’s a difference between being paid to work and working to make a difference. Relationships are about emotional investment. Now that’s motivating.
Interested in learning more about this concept of social vs. market norms? Check out Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely.
The High Cost of Not Keeping Your Word
Is it just me or have we become a society that doesn’t value keeping our word?
Are we commitment phobic or just plain selfish? Nowadays promising something doesn’t always mean you’ll follow through. Why is that?
Is there no honor in doing what you say? What effect does it have on others? How does it affect your reputation?
In your career, how does your boss and co-workers view you if you don’t follow through with what you say you will do?
With your friends, what consequences arise when you flake out?
Not keeping your word is NOT the same as an emergency or about being “perfect.”
People will let you down. It’s human nature. Expect perfection and you’ll be disappointed.
Everyone is busy, but that’s not an excuse. Have the decency to let others know if plans have changed. At the core of this issue is trust. Your reputation is at stake. Without it, what do you have?
It’s much more than job performance, being a good friend or making mistakes.
This is controllable. Before you speak, think about what you say. Don’t make a promise you can’t fulfill. The cost is too high…
Can you achieve work-life balance?
Just like a relationship, work-life rarely achieves a 50-50 balance.
Today’s career is about finding the perfect “fit” that is:
1) an extension of who you are
2) passion + strengths + experience
Life is a mixture of different categories, but primarily relationships. The challenge is not necessarily balancing the two, but prioritizing. For example, if you are career driven, you might put your social life on hold because you love to achieve. On the other hand, if relationships are what you’re all about, your work may not be as important. There are points where perfect harmony can be attained, but it’s very rare.
The point is: you have to choose which one comes first.
I can’t tell you which one is “better,” but I can share from my own experiences. I value relationships. My wife, family and friends come first. That doesn’t mean I don’t care about my career, because I do, but if I have to choose, it’s my relationships. I have my own business, helping people identify and grow within their careers, but my primary motivation is the flexibility of schedule. Controlling how I spend my time means I can work my schedule around my wife’s. Even the network group I created, Career Synergy, is relationships first, business second. I truly believe that your strongest career asset is your personal network – the people you know.
So can you achieve work-life balance? The short answer is yes. The better question is: What’s more important? It’s said if you want to know your priorities, look at how you spend your time and money. Instead of trying to be a master of juggling, figure out the order of importance.
So for you, which comes first? Work (career) or Life (relationships)?



