Last week’s post was about “work sucks” when you’ve reached your 30’s and realized you’re not where you want to be in your career.
Today I’ll talk about why “my life sucks” when it comes to your personal life.
Not everyone’s dream is to be married and have kids, but a very large majority is.
It’s like a conversation I had a while back with my one my best friends, “You know you’re getting older when Crate and Barrel all of a sudden becomes cool.”
I wasn’t married at the time, but I was close. That life stage makes you think about who you want to spend the majority of your time with outside of work. You’re not in college anymore, so there aren’t a ton of single, available people on the market. You’re probably head deep in work also, which doesn’t help your dating life.
All these factors may be stacked against you, but my question is, “What are you going to do about it?“
Easier said than done, but just because something is harder doesn’t mean you don’t try. If you are looking to settle down your best bet is a reference (same as work) to put in a good word for you to their friends. Start looking where your interests/values lie. It won’t come overnight, but it’s worth the effort.
On the other side, maybe you are married and do have kids. That’s doesn’t guarantee you’re happy (although I would have to say happiness is pretty elusive so stop chasing it). Maybe it’s not “who” you’re spending time with (family) that’s getting you down, but “how” you spend it with them.
Who knows, maybe you’re married to your job? That could be the problem for your mid-life depression. Speaking for myself, I want my career to support the lifestyle I choose. Therefore freedom/flexibility of schedule is what I desire (here’s a link to a great article “Flexibility: the New Definition of Success“).
You have to decide what work-life balance looks like for you. Sometimes when you’re so focused on one aspect in your life, everything else falls by the wayside. Figure out what you value most, prioritize your time and go towards that.
When your personal life isn’t right, it doesn’t matter what you do at work. You’re just delaying the inevitable. Deal with it. Resolve it. Move on.
If you’re having trouble and feel “stuck,” contact me.