When Leading Do the Opposite of This

Scott Asai4 Comments
Rarely do I use a negative example to illustrate my point, but in this case you can learn how to lead by doing the opposite of Mike D’Antoni.
Currently (unfortunately) he is the head coach of the Los Angeles Lakers and from the perspective of a die hard fan, this is the most underwhelming season I’ve ever witnessed.
Using him as an example, here are 5 ways to become a better leader by avoiding his mistakes:
1) Lack of direction – In sports, I’ve never seen someone change their lineups as much as Mike D’Antoni. One game a player will start the game and the next game he never plays at all. When roles aren’t clearly defined, people get confused. 
Leaders need a clear vision that people can follow. Once the goal has been decided and your team has bought into it, stick with it. Results follow when there is a clear plan. “Without vision, people perish.”
2) Poor relationships – When Mike D’Antoni got hired, one of the first things he did was force his system on the players instead of creating a system around the talent on the team. He rubbed a lot of veteran players the wrong way right off the bat. Just because you’re the leader doesn’t automatically mean people want to follow you. 
Leaders build rapport and eventually trust with people by asking them for input and listening to their goals. Engagement is a result of feeling appreciated, valued and heard. Engaged people perform better.
3) Passive-Aggressive – Every chance D’Antoni has to complain to the media he does. He consistently blames his players and drags them under the bus without hesitation. It seems like he’d rather vent about his players than actually talk to them. He deals with conflict by ignoring it. 
Leaders communicate directly with the person. Conflict is inevitable and unless confronted, it lingers and builds up. As a leader, be the bigger person and talk about what’s wrong. When you resolve conflict and move on everyone wins. 
4) Emotional roller coaster – D’Antoni loves to overreact and blow things out of proportion. He loves to identify problems, but rarely has any solutions. Since he is so moody, it has a negative effect on the team. Players think it’s acceptable to point the finger instead of taking ownership for areas they can improve upon. 
Leaders need to be a calming presence. If you want to be a leader, it’s more important that you “show” your team before you “tell” them anything. People observe and follow the leader’s example. 
5) Stubborn – D’Antoni has to be the most closed-minded coach around. No matter how many analysts, players or experts point out the flaws in his philosophy, he continues to repeat them expecting different results (that’s called insanity folks). Once you stop learning as a leader, it’s all downhill from there. 
Leaders need to be open to suggestions. That doesn’t mean you do what everyone says, it means consider all options, then choose the best one. A humble leader knows there is always more to learn, so he stays flexible and agile, almost re-inventing himself over time. 

Having leadership positions over the past 15+ years and being a huge sports fanatic, coaches have the single most influence on a team’s outlook. Since coaches are leaders, they have the ability to bring out the best in people’s performance and character. It is a privilege to lead people and “with great power comes great responsibility.” As a leader, focus more on the “we” than the “me” and you’ll accomplish great things together.  

The Downside to Knowing What You’re Great At

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Guest Post by Ben Arment
I’m a huge proponent of the idea that you are the BEST in the world at ONE thing. It’s more niche than you realize. In fact, the practice of it probably doesn’t exist right now. You’ll miss it if you keep trying to fill conventional roles.
But when you finally figure it out, it will change your life. You’ll never apply for another job again. When people think of your craft, your name will immediately come to mind. You will OWN a category. You will become the benchmark.
There’s a downside, however, to finding your great gift to the world.
It’s that you have to acknowledge that you’re not any good at the other stuff.
When I quit my PREVIOUS occupation, I had a two-year funeral for myself because I had spent the past 10 years training for it and striving at it.
I had to finally admit that it wasn’t working. And there was nothing flippant about that realization. It tore my soul out. I experienced an identity crisis.
The hard truth is this – you have to start with what you’re NOT good at in order to find out what you ARE great at. And for this, you only need to look around.
Is there fruit on the branches?
If you say you want to be a leader, are people following you?
If you say you want to be a writer, do people clamor to read your stuff?
If you say you want to be a speaker, do they flock to listen to you now?
I fear that – even in writing those questions – we will find another way to deceive ourselves with the answer. We’ll spin it to accommodate our current aspirations.
(If you’re starting to become defensive about a particular desire, pay attention to it. You might be onto something.)
As you seek your ONE great thing, be prepared to bear the weight of grief. It’s no easy thing to put aside what you’ve spent years pursuing.
But when you find it, it will be worth it. For there is nothing better than expressing what you were designed to do.

More Than a Connection

Scott Asai3 Comments
To succeed in today’s world it’s more about who you know than what you know.

Why? Because our society is interconnected so your social capital matters.
This doesn’t necessarily mean the more friends you have on Facebook, followers on Twitter or connections on LinkedIn increases your chances to land your dream job (although it doesn’t hurt).

Remember though a connection is simply a contact. That could mean you went to high school with them, met at a network event or found them online.
Challenge yourself to go deeper than that. 

Think quality over quantity. It’s less about “how many” and more about “how well.” 

As a naturally more introverted person, I used to think it was about passing out business cards or being a Chamber of Commerce member.

It wasn’t until shifting my mindset from “networking” to “relationships” that things changed.
If you’re “networking” there’s pressure to sell yourself quickly.
If you’re “building relationships” the focus is more about getting to know the person and strengthening the bond over time. 
If you want to start making “friends” instead of “contacts,” be more concerned about giving than getting. 

Over time your investment will pay off…because a friend is more than a connection can ever be.

Don’t Organize, Prioritize

Scott Asai1 Comment
How do you make decisions?

Every day decisions, such as: what to wear, eat and do probably don’t take much thought.
But what about those more important decisions? 
What factors do you weigh? 
What process helps eliminate possibilities and choose the best option?
This isn’t something you’ll achieve overnight, it’s really a personal decision that takes some “internal excavation” and reflection.
Sometimes in order to start the process, an example can help get you going.
I can’t speak for you, but let me share my “5 F’s” that help guide my life’s decisions:
Faith
Family
Friends
Fitness
Food
I put them in order of importance because prioritizing based on what’s most important helps me make the best possible decision in lieu of circumstances. 
The bigger the decision, the more I rely on my “5 F’s” for direction.
Making important decisions is more than just a random flip of a coin. It affects your future.

What are your priorities?

Dismissing Generation Y

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Guest Post by Josh Allan Dykstra

This weekend I had the pleasure of bringing the keynote message to a student leadership retreat for a group at a private university in Denver, Colorado. This was particularly exciting for me because exactly ten years ago, I was them — a student leader watching from the crowd.
I have to confess; I love the university environment. I always have. I love the energy, the passion, and the optimism. I love the world-changing ethos. I love the youth and the naïveté. This weekend reminded me of all that.
It also reminded me how completely brilliant Generation Y can be.
These students were amazing and remarkable people. They sincerely cared about their leadership roles and thought deeply about the world. They brought insightful questions and an enormous amount of focused attention.
I know there are a lot of negative impressions of Gen Y out there. Primarily I know this because people complain to me about them. I understand that they are a bit different in the way they see the world (people say: “annoyingly technology-obsessed”). I also understand that they are looking for more mentoring and development at work (people say: “needy and entitled”).
But, if I wasn’t convinced before, this weekend proved to me that these dismissive and disparaging blanket assumptions need to stop.
If you think “all Gen Y’ers” are like the bad rumors you’ve heard, I’m here to tell you that those rumors are grossly misguided. I was honored to meet these exceptional “kids,” and you’d be lucky to have them join your organization.

Circle of Life Coaching

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Who’s the ideal candidate for life coaching? 

Maybe understanding the process will help you make a decision…

Clients hire coaches to help them get stuff done. Here’s how it works: 

Thoughts: This is where it all starts. What’s your “self-talk?” What are you saying to yourself on a daily basis? What you believe is usually what comes true. This is why optimists usually succeed and pessimists sabotage themselves. Although this may sound cheesy, it’s accurate: “If you believe it, you can achieve it.” 

Feelings: Our feelings are triggered by our thoughts, not the other way around. If you don’t believe me, ask an engineer. Feelings are a secondary reaction based on what you are thinking about. Even though the thought may last a split second and the feeling can last a while, it still starts with your thought process. That means you can basically manipulate the way you feel.

Actions: How you feel determines how you act. For example, if you’re depressed you can suffer from “inaction,” or not doing anything. On the flip side, if you’re inspired to take a risk, you usually go for it and don’t think about what could go wrong. This is where most people get stuck. You want to act, but don’t have the incentive to. Hiring a coach can be beneficial because he/she provides the accountability to reinforce what you said you would do. 

Results: This is the sum total of everything covered. Think of a personal trainer. You hire him/her to help you accomplish your goals. Their job is to create a program that caters to your needs. Coaches are like personal trainers for your mind. A coach can give you the extra push when you get stuck. They won’t do the work for you, but they will help you navigate so you can get it done.

Now that you’re informed, are you interested in hiring a life coach? Feel free to reach out here.

5 Tips for Keeping Your Email Inbox Under Control

Scott Asai1 Comment

Guest Post by Charles Lee

Reading and responding to emails can become quite overwhelming. Unless you’re a person who doesn’t have a problem with ignoring everyone trying to communicate with you, you’re probably going to want a system to deal with your growing inbox. How do you do it?

Here are some simple tips that can help you reduce the number of emails sitting in your inbox:

Unsubscribe from any unnecessary email lists and notifications. While it is somewhat of a hassle to unsubscribe from unwanted email lists (especially those you never signed up for), take 20 seconds to do it. Don’t tell yourself that you’ll unsubscribe next time. If you find yourself hitting the delete button without reading these updates, that probably means that you don’t need to be on their email list. Unsubscribe and see your inbox number dramatically decrease. Also, be sure to turn off any unnecessary notifications from the various social platforms you participate in, especially if you find yourself checking in throughout the day anyways.

Move longer conversations to calls. I find that moving an email conversation to phone calls is a great alternative to going back and forth. A quick phone call is often much more productive and efficient than 10 emails asking for more clarity.

Give yourself a time limit for responding. Deadlines tend to motivate action. Give yourself a deadline for responding to emails. Also, give your self a mini-deadline for each time you sit to write email. For example, I give my self 30-45 minutes each time I sit to respond to email. I find that I am far more productive when I know there’s an end time.

Find the app. For emails from brands offering deals, see if they have an app for their latest sales and go to it when you want to browse offerings. The truth is that the majority of emails from these brands don’t have items you actually “need”. This will also help you limit your spending!

Create a filing system only for certain kinds of emails. Many of the emails we get are for record keeping or future reference. I tend to only put these kinds of emails in folders (Most email clients allow you to make folders to help you organize your inbox.). I try not to put emails I have to respond to in these folders. Once emails go into these folders, it becomes far more difficult to remember to get to them unless a clear need arises. Therefore, I keep all my emails that I need to respond to in my inbox. This helps me to stay actionable and responsive.

I’ve been able to keep my inbox fairly low or at zero by using these methods. What are some ways that you keep your email inbox to a minimum?

Be MASTERMINDful

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What is a Mastermind group? 
A group that provides collaboration, feedback and accountability for your goals.
How can being in a Mastermind group benefit me?
Mastermind group participants act as catalysts for growth, devil’s advocates and supportive colleagues.

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Basically being part of a Mastermind group is committing to be held accountable for the goals you set. It’s also a great way to receive perspective and feedback from others. 
Each person has an allotted time to share, receive feedback and then state their goal(s).
Personally I’ve been a part of a Mastermind group before and this is the format we used:


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1)    What are you working on?
2)    Describe your current challenge. What do you need help with?
3)    What is your goal to accomplish before the next session?

 

When you set your own goals, it’s easy not to accomplish them because there’s no accountability. You’d be amazed at the increase in goal accomplishment when you know you have someone checking up on your progress. 

Successful people get stuff done. Even if you’re highly self-motivated, there’s synergy in a Mastermind group. The collaborative brainpower is larger than if you worked alone.

Your success is directly affected by who you surround yourself with. If you want to be more successful, join a Mastermind group.